luser(8) - process to control the clueless induhviduals

LUSER(8)             Maintenance Procedures              LUSER(8)

NAME
     luser - process to control  the  clueless  induhviduals  who
     (mis)use  computer  systems,  peripheral  devices and system
     administrators. Word play on "loser" and "user".

SYNOPSIS
     luser [-d] [-g<level>] [-s] <lusername>

DESCRIPTION
     luser is the primary tool a  system  administrator  uses  to
     manage  end-user  requests.  This powerful tool can actually
     cause the specified user to perform actions as specified  by
     the flags.

     With no flags, luser deletes every running process owned  by
     the specified <lusername>.

OPTIONS
     -d    Disk reclamation mode. Remove all files  in  the  home
          directory of <lusername>.

     -g<level>
          Grovel mode. Causes the specified luser to make an  act
          of  contrition  to  the  sysadmin  for  past  sins. The
          <level> indicates the severity of the contrition:

     LEVEL

     0    User makes a sincere apology and promises to  never  do
          it again.

     1    User buys  sysadmin  a  large  quantity  of  sysadmin's
          favorite beverage.

     2    User signs over ownership of his/her car to sysadmin.

     3    User resigns from the  company  after  writing  a  long
          letter of apology detailing his/her failings.

     4    User commits ritual suicide by sucking on a power strip
          and grounding himself to a conduit.

NOTES
     Sysadmins are encouraged to use the -s option as  a  way  to
     smarten up the world's user base. Use the -g option at level
     4 outside the confines of the machine room. The more  lusers
     that witness the act, the better.

SEE ALSO
     sysadmin(1)

BUGS
     Occasionally, the luser may survive the effects of  luser  -
     g4.  In  that event, a second invocation of the command will
     usually prove to be fatal.

HISTORY
     Written by Eric L. Pederson <eric@bofh.org.uk>.

Date posted: 24th September 1995