The three laws of BOFHdom

This version is also prefered by Steve VanDevender

	A BOFH must not destroy a useful[1] technology system, or through inaction allow useful technology to come to harm. Note:Useful techology in the hands of lusers is considered be in the process of being harmed. However, technology may sometimes be sacrificed when the tradeoff between not harming the technology and harming the luser(s) weighs favorably towards the latter, or when it has sufficent amusement value. i.e. if a luser is sitting in a room filled with NT servers playing with an ACME "Build your own pet self-aware[2] bomb" kit then its probably best to quietly shut the door on them and tip-toe away. Only stopping to move any innocent machines[3] out of the blast radius and sending email to lusers@vbc.com to say that the room contains free copies of Windows 2000[4] before the inevitable happens.
	A BOFH must find ways of avoiding work, unless this violates the first law.
	A BOFH must protect its own existence, to hell with Laws 1 and 2.

	A BOFH may not help a luser or, through inaction, allow a luser to successfully use computer systems.
	A BOFH must subvert orders given him by lusers except where such subversion would conflict with the First Law.
	A BOFH must gain control over and use computer systems[5] for his own nefarious ends as long as such control or use does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

[1]	To the BOFH
[2]	As in "In the beginning there was darkness and me. And then there was ligh...<BOOOOOOOOM!>
[3]	Given how all hardware and software sucks to a degree, is there any innocent hardware ?
[4]	Ensuring that the company's supply of Windows 2000 are in said room first - its best if those tainted CDs get sent to the big bit-furnace below.
[5]	Or any other systems like air conditioning, lifts, etc as a BOFH sees fit

Date posted: 07th March 2000