[Index] [About] SysAdmin humor
Author Unknown
Created:  2000-03-27
Last changed:  2000-03-27
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The three biggest lies...

* 3 Biggest Software Lies:
  • The program's fully tested and bugfree.
  • We're working on the documentation.
  • Of course we can modify it.
* 3 Biggest Computer Room Lies:
  • As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any files.
  • We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
  • The new machine's on order.
* 3 Biggest Large Company Lies:
  • We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
  • People are our greatest resource.
  • We say 'let the marketplace decide'.
* 3 Biggest Small Company Lies:
  • We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
  • The boss is just one of the guys.
  • Staying small is a conscious decision.
* 3 Biggest Marketing Lies:
  • Immediate delivery?...No problem.
  • We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
  • We're going out to lunch to talk business.
* 3 Biggest Engineering Professor's Lies:
  • Some day this course will come in handy.
  • These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.
  • This is the way they do it in industry.
* 3 Biggest Executive Lies:
  • Money...it's just a score card.
  • If it were up to me, there'd be no assigned parking spaces.
  • You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.
* 3 Biggest Hardware Lies:
  • We always design for testability.
  • It worked fine on the proto board.
  • That would be much easier to implement in software.

* Software engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room.
* Systems engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room in which there is no cat.
* Knowledge engineering is like looking for a black cat in a dark room where there is no cat and someone yells, "I got it!"

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Author Unknown
Created:  2000-03-27
Last changed:  2000-03-27
 
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